Sunday, April 3, 2011

Precious Moments

A few nights ago Matthew randomly put his head on my tummy. "What are you doing?" "Shhhh... I want to hear the baby." He stopped a second and lifted his ear to my heart and then once again put it agains my tummy. Then he giggled. He was hearing Samuel's heart beating. He described it as almost twice as fast as mine. And he said he could hear swishing sounds as well. I mentioned how Samuel is not a big fan of pressure on him so he may kick. Within moments Samuel kicked Matt's face. We both laughed.

Every evening since then Matt has spend a few moments listening and talking to my stomach. One night Samuel (must have been sleeping) was not wiggling. And Matthew gave my belly a little shake and told his son it was time to wake up. And he did. And guess who stayed up the next 1/2 hour with a wiggling baby? lol

It is amazing. Last pregnancy Matthew interacted with Joshua but never like this. Such precious, beautiful moments that warm my heart. I love seeing my husband falling in love with his son. I knowing that Matthew gets to share this experience with me in such a hands on way. We bonded greatly during Joshua's birth and what ensued afterwards but to see the bonding happen now is stunning. I think because I am already so in love with Samuel I want Matt to share it. There is no way to explain my love for my unseen little man. But it is not only there, but grows stronger daily. I am so excited for Matt. I am so excited for our son. I know that Matthew will be a fantastic father. I can't wait to see him hold Samuel for the first time. I can't wait to see them playing legos and matchbox cars. It is funny how your view of value can change so quickly.

Matthew, I love you. I am so incredibly blessed by you. You have no idea the gratitude that I have towards your active love for me. Honestly, I did not think men like you existed any more. And here I am, blessed with what I thought was impossible. You do so many things that protect my heart from hurts. I wonder where you learned it all. When we were pregnant with Joshua, you were there. Through the labor and loss, you were there. Through my darkest nights and days, you were there. And now we have this new joy to share. This new adventure that both overwhelms and excites us. I am SO glad that it is you who I get to share with. You know that I have a hard time imagining success...but because I have you, because of the testimony of your life, I know that God is good. I know that God keeps his promises. And most of all...I know that God has favor on me, because he gave me you. I know that you, like Joshua and Samuel, are a gift and how long I get to keep you is not known to me. But I hope you know that every moment I have you in my life I will be thankful. And when you are gone, I will still know that I was/am the most blessed woman because you are the answer to my prayers. I asked that God would show me his unending love for me every day...and he gave me you. (Did you know your name means "gift from God"?
Be blessed Matthew and may I bless you back.
-Your wife