When someone you love is in the preparation season before going to meet Jesus it can be difficult to balance the mixtures of emotions & thoughts. You wish for them to experience the least trauma, yet you also feel bad for even admitting they are so close to passing away. You don't want to acknowledge the season as what it is, saying goodbye. While logically you know that death is the next big event in their life, that death may ease their suffering, or that you can even feel thankful for their future in Heaven; you know are not just saying goodbye to your sick grandma. You are saying goodbye to the grandma who made cook & serve chocolate pudding every time you visited as a kid. You are saying goodbye to the grandma who yelled at you and your cousins, every visit, for picking berries and cherry tree blossoms and smashing them into pastes. You are saying goodbye to the woman who taught you how to sew, who made your 4th grade pilgrim costume, and bought you McDonalds after you helped her with her side job dropping off advertisement papers. The woman who bought you your first car and let you live with her for free after you graduated high school. You are saying goodbye to the woman who met your now husband at the door when he came to get you for your first official date. The woman who made sure to face her own deep loss head on so she could meet your first born, and say goodbye to him the same day. Then let you and your spouse live with her after the financial weight of losing that son made changes essential. The women who you stayed up late with many restless nights watching every CSI spin off. The woman who taught you the correct way to snap beans and how to properly can them. The woman who though tough as leather on the outside, loved you deeply & vulnerably.
Grandma's house is where I learned how to be a friend, thanks to my cousins. Where I learned that truth has consequences as much as lies do. Where corners were for naughty noses, and bunnies had weird shaped poop. Grandma's house is where I learned dogs are not pets but family. And the best taste in the whole world is a ripe raspberry off the vine.
Grandma's house.
Grandma.
My grandma is a specific and purposeful gift from God to me. I am the woman I am today because of her. She shaped my mother, and thru my mother and herself, she shaped me.
When the next big event in a beloved's life is death....it is okay to allow yourself to understand, hurt, and want peace for them in Heaven. It is also okay to remember. It does hurt, but while painful, it gives glory to the person who loved you so dearly.
My grandma is in that season, and she is beloved. Any successes I have had in my life, and those of my children will be credited to this incredible woman in Heaven.
Thank you God she is mine. Thank you so much more God that she is yours.
Norma Reilly, I am sad I am not near you during this season of preparation. Please know you are in my thoughts, memories, and prayers. I miss you. I love you so, so much Gram. I am so grateful for you and the life you poured out for your children, their children, and anyone who walked into your home. You are my hero. You are....in for an amazing welcome party in Heaven.
Thank you for, again, leading the way to Jesus for us.
Love,
Crista
These photos are from 2018 & 2019 visits.
Excepting the first, which is grandma dancing with my sister Jessica & myself.
These photos are from 2018 & 2019 visits.
Excepting the first, which is grandma dancing with my sister Jessica & myself.
